Offline Online

Today: got cautiously good news regarding finances. But now I'm facing a challenge regarding possible fertilization treatments. No capacity for details now. Act; dream; proceed on instinct. Low point came and went. From now on, survival will require a sunny, bright disposition. Woke up from a nap with strangest dreams. Tonight's the night for the … Jatka lukemista Offline Online →

Aspens Whisper

It´s said that when the wind shakes the leaves of the aspens, you can hear the dead whisper; but on this January night between Saturday and Sunday, there were no leaves in the aspens. The cold wind bit and yapped at their trunks and their skeletal fingers reaching towards the sky. Did you know that … Jatka lukemista Aspens Whisper →

If I Had A Kid

If I had a kid and it inherited my OCD, I would teach it to have a spare toy for traveling that would be just a soulless effigy for any actual toy at home. This way Bear couldn´t get lost, Pony´s wings wouldn´t come off, and if the spare met it´s demise, we could go … Jatka lukemista If I Had A Kid →

The World Holds Its Breath, Or Is It Me?

Pines behind the hospital window, their needletips dipped in rosy sunstain. Financial opportunity lost for good, it seems. Wheel of Fortune spinning clock and counter, counter and clock. I look out for signs of green. Either change came and swept away my future like the lick of a wave wipes the shore clean, or it … Jatka lukemista The World Holds Its Breath, Or Is It Me? →

Snap Out Of It, Bitch

Time to quit wallowing and try and save what there is to be saved. Egg harvesting might still be possible, and it won´t hurt to try. The age limit for that at the public sector is 38, so once again, time is a factor, but there´s 3 months until the 37th birthday of our legal … Jatka lukemista Snap Out Of It, Bitch →

Faux Fur

I had restless dreams; in one of them, the Finnish Olympic swimming team had been bragging about being able to train a new swimmer in two weeks, and I was chosen as the trainee by the die. I failed in the competition, and was made fun of by both the trainer and the audience. Afterwards … Jatka lukemista Faux Fur →

The Green Lion

I ended up waking up with the sun at 9:22AM; I had set an alarm, but had not reacted to it, and when I got up to drink a glass of water, I noticed that the drawing I had been convinced was still at the psych ward sat on my kitchen table. Because it´s in … Jatka lukemista The Green Lion →

Backtracking

God damn it; I just went through all the papers and stuff that I had taken back home from the hospital, and realized that the most important drawing I did, the one I did on the night between the 10th and 11th of December 2024, depicting the Queen of Wands and describing a prophetic dream … Jatka lukemista Backtracking →

My Little Firefly, Part One

Once upon a time there was a little tin soldier who came out of the mold not quite right. Anyone who saw him could have sworn that he was a little tin doll instead! But he was who he was, and according to his nature, he fought anyone who claimed otherwise. But the toymaker who … Jatka lukemista My Little Firefly, Part One →

New Moon

It´s New Moon, the last of November, and tomorrow marks the First Advent Sunday of 2024. May tomorrow bring me hope and release and a strengthened sense of my fate as a parent to come. May I be filled with intention and courage in the face of all my hardships, and the cunning to prevail. … Jatka lukemista New Moon →