People think that donkeys are dumb and difficult, but the reality is that they are probably smarter than horses and are simply wired to survive rather than please. I understand that my dream of gittin´ gud at combat sports at my advanced age is probably a bit silly, but working towards it can still be … Jatka lukemista Asinine Virtues
Limits
I am waiting for the sun to rise on Saturday morning, which is still night in the nightless midsummer, and I wonder what my limits are. I did not go exercising after donating blood because I was told not to, and because I know from experience that it causes me to recover poorly for longer. … Jatka lukemista Limits
Made To Bleed
I donated blood again on Friday. It made me happy, but now at home I am feeling exhausted and dysphoric, hating and fearing my stretch marked tummy and botched leg tattoo, not even able to take my sports bra off, wondering if any of these three sources of deep personal pain and shame will ever … Jatka lukemista Made To Bleed
Little Pleasures
I had vivid dreams on Thursday morning, and the one I remembered was how to modify a standard boxing reaction drill in a way that would best benefit me and my dojo bestie. I had a shower, applied glycolic acid on my body, and testosterone gel onto my thighs; I had breakfast, packed my bag, … Jatka lukemista Little Pleasures
Pride Of A Lion
Early Wednesday hours. I'm bruised from sparring, and my head is scrolling through everything I learned, both about myself and my opponents. The tall man is a piece of shit. I had my doubts before, but now I know. What he did wasn't such a big deal, but at the same time it was irredeemable. … Jatka lukemista Pride Of A Lion
Forsaken So Many Times
Monday evening; I hit the gym after kick & conditioning because my shoulder joints are becoming increasingly unstable. I was reminded of my old nerve injury from the time my parents forgot about me and I was stuck in a tree for hours until the arm sustained permanent damage. My parents didn't take me to … Jatka lukemista Forsaken So Many Times
Fudo Myoo
I will save myself even if I have to drag myself out of the fiery pits by a rope that so triggers me. I will cut right trough it the second my feet touch the solid rock again. Similarly, I have cut through the veils that made me cling to beauty in song and dance … Jatka lukemista Fudo Myoo
Mechanical Arts
The cloud cover makes the day cool and the air easier to breathe. I still have occasional coughing bursts that make me see sparks, so I miss out on karaoke with my friend, and stay in bed and rest instead. I´m still digesting everything King Belial taught me, but on the cusp of this Pride … Jatka lukemista Mechanical Arts
Liquid Fire And Roaring Water
Do you believe, dear reader, that water flows all the way down to the underworld and that the ancestors can speak to us through it? That there are spirits all around us, and some of them have made their homes within the nooks and crannies of the infrastructure of organized religion like city foxes and … Jatka lukemista Liquid Fire And Roaring Water
Design Issue
It rushed into me as the Friday sky was growing paler in preparation of letting the sun back in: most of this world is designed for righthanders, so lefties struggle and ambies adapt. I didn't need to have the use of my left hand beaten out of me, because almost everything in this world is … Jatka lukemista Design Issue
Lähiönoita 