Wednesday. I wake up to the autism assistance worker´s arrival and start to organize the rest of my week. My grocery delivery arrives noon-ish, and I put a slab of pork shoulder to marinate for later while I attend a support meeting to talk about having to prepare for the potential loss of access to … Jatka lukemista Food That Endures
God’s Field
If Asmoday can show the sites where treasures lie, what is a treasure anyway? I lay on my bed as Timo is standing watch on my pillow and my right hand is scritching his round little tummy. When he´s ran around and played enough and goes back to his cage, I fall asleep in the … Jatka lukemista God’s Field
Ring Of Virtue
On the cusp of Monday I adorned myself with fresh surgical steel rings for my septum and ear piercings and thought about Asmoday. I like it when the grimoires go into detail about summoning, because it always gives a more personalized idea of who I´m playing to work with. Asmoday needs to be called while … Jatka lukemista Ring Of Virtue
Payday
Sunday, the cusp of a new week. During Saturday´s volunteering I was thinking about the story about the two wolves and how the one you feed will end up winning. I might have a whole pack inside, but I don´t think the wolves need to necessarily be "good" or "bad". Perhaps one is a shy … Jatka lukemista Payday
Choosing Love
This will not be a sourdough and Sunday Service "love thy enemy" letter. This will be a letter about finding strength in loving ourselves and in loving the truth. This way the good fruit is accessible also to those whose philosophies do not include what I choose to call God. Love the Lord your God … Jatka lukemista Choosing Love
The Blessing
Friday. I wake up after Thursday's Taekwondo training with a slightly sore and clicking left shoulder, but my right shoulder is pain free. The left shoulder isn't too badly affected either: I have full range of motion, and the pain is very tolerable. I can help the joint stabilize by strengthening the little muscles around … Jatka lukemista The Blessing
The Curse
I had nightmares about the Finnish trans clinic system last night. If they knew I have trauma-induced nightmares about them, they would shame me for being traumatized by them and use it as "proof" of my poor mental state and deny me a trans diagnosis. Their logic is the logic of an abuser. But this … Jatka lukemista The Curse
Crackle
I am beginning to remember my body and what it was like before what happened to me in high school. When I joyously threw myself onto the mat for such feisty ukemis that the Taekwondo instructor was worried I'd roll right through the wall, I remembered who I was on my way to become. When … Jatka lukemista Crackle
Beige
Tuesday. I wish I wasn't affected by the sight of my oppressor, but my trauma at her hands was real, and so is the fallout of having ran into her. I think I feel this exhausted because it is not safe to feel angry. I asked my Tarot deck about her dethroning, and my whimsical … Jatka lukemista Beige
Regroup
Monday´s curtains open into a diamond-crusted wintry wonderland. My brain feels sluggish, and the threshold to drag my ass to the gym feels high. Because I was socially so active last week, it feels like I didn´t recover as well as I usually do despite having had a whopping four "rest days" from intense physical … Jatka lukemista Regroup
Lähiönoita 