Willingness

I donated blood on Saint Walburga's day. My hemoglobin was 150, the lowest for me so far since starting T, so I was given iron tablets to go. After I had bled a bagful, I hit a Chinese buffet to fill up on fish, octopus, and squid sashimi, sushi, velveted beef, crispy duck and fresh … Jatka lukemista Willingness →

Thinking Being

No Christian should be opposed to trans people, because when God created us in their image, it was not about the looks of the flesh, but the capacity to think. God is not wo/man-shaped. God is a thinking being. When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. … Jatka lukemista Thinking Being →

Son Of A Bitch

Friday was hard. I sent the application for my fourth year of psychotherapy and felt utterly depleted after. I laid on my bed and let wave after wave of OCD thoughts wash over me. What ended up to be the skeleton key releasing me from that frozenness was a YouTube video of a Cavalier King … Jatka lukemista Son Of A Bitch →

Help Me

Early Friday hours, and I can't seem to fall asleep. I realized that I'm running out of time to send the application for the continuation of my psychotherapy. For some reason I had thought it can not be sent sooner than three months before the end of the current season but it has to be … Jatka lukemista Help Me →

Touching The Depths

Thursday. I did EMDR in therapy, and it definitely shook something loose. I'm typing this in the dressing room of the dojo feeling like I'll barf. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. - Ezekiel 36:27, NIV The warm-ups felt … Jatka lukemista Touching The Depths →

Blood For The Fire Horse

Of course I had to bleed at the dojo on Tuesday - it was to salute the arriving Fire Horse! I couldn't donate blood on the day of the Lunar New Year due to it being a training day, so I was planning to do it on the second day of the lunar cycle, but … Jatka lukemista Blood For The Fire Horse →

Fixing A Faux

There is not much to report about Tuesday; I got myself a mouthguard and molded it, and booked myself a dentist´s appointment, which hopefully can happen before the summer. It´s hard to not blame myself for the mild dental attrition that the dentist discovered. But it may have developed anyway; I think I remember a … Jatka lukemista Fixing A Faux →

A Dog’s Smile

I went for a walk on Sunday night. The landscape was covered in the luscious cold mink of heavy snow, becoming packed denser and denser under the weight of each additional layer. I was trying to get a raincoat I had ordered online from the post automat, but the store was closed, so I took … Jatka lukemista A Dog’s Smile →

Whispering

What if the mind truly isn´t limited only within the electrified silken tofu within our walnut-shell skulls? What if objects and actions, movement and art, time and place were as much mind as the biological calculations that form the basis of our bodily functions and higher aspirations? When I visited Kiasma on Valentine´s to pay … Jatka lukemista Whispering →

The Ultimate Lesson

I see it now, what I am there to learn when I immerse myself into Taekwondo training: I am teaching myself to not get swept up into the thrill of the fight, to always stay aware of my body and the small and bigger injuries it keeps a score of. Cis men have used and … Jatka lukemista The Ultimate Lesson →